


How Did It End Up Like This?

by caprithebunny



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Deathfic, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Mass Effect 3, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 02:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15184358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caprithebunny/pseuds/caprithebunny
Summary: Shepard tried her hardest to keep away one thing that could jeopardize the entire Reaper War. Not only that, but she also has to deal with all the hiccups life can bring....





	How Did It End Up Like This?

~~~~

“Chakwas? What's the test say?” Shepard stifles a flinch at the way her voice sounds, portraying all of her inner fear. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, and her leg was starting to go numb from sitting so long on the med-bay bed, and she was sure Chakwas could tell all of what she was feeling just by her voice. She felt a warm, gentle hand on her shoulder, and it gave a soft squeeze as though to calm or reassure her. 

“It's... It's positive, Shepard. It's just as you thought; you're pregnant. Congratulations.” Shepard's head spun as the world slowed around her.  _ Pregnant? No. There's no way... _ Anxiety and nerves hit her again, even more ferociously than when she noticed some things were off herself... She had thought she and Kaidan had been careful enough; she always made sure they took as much precautions as possible, even the night the first started sleeping together again.  _ She had been careful. _ And yet, here she was, being told all that work to keep such a compromising situation from occurring was now happening. What the hell was she going to do?

“Shepard? Shepard, are you alright?... Shepard, can you hear me?” Shepard snaps back into the present at the sound of Dr. Chakwas' concerned voice. The older woman was watching her with worry. 

“Sorry, sorry. I got caught up in my thoughts. But you're sure? Absolutely positive?” Chakwas nodded, her lips pursing into a straight line.

“I ran the test four different times  _ just  _ to be sure. Unless all are somehow miraculously false-positives... You are indeed pregnant. I'm not equipped to tell you how far along you are, however; we'd need to have you seen at Huerta Memorial for that.” Shepard feels a cold chill run down her back; the thought of having anyone else know... Not yet. She still needed to make decisions on the baby. Hell, she needed to talk to Kaidan...  _ Kaidan _ . Oh, God, how was she going to tell him? How in the hell was she going to just casually mention that she's pregnant in the middle of a war with the Reapers? Maybe... Maybe she shouldn't tell him. Not till after everything, not until it's all said and done, if she even keeps the baby. Shepard's mind felt frazzled by all these thoughts.  _ What was she supposed to do? _

A few days goes by, and Shepard hasn't been able to tell Kaidan yet. Every time she's tried to say the words to him, her throat feels like there's cotton stuck in it, and her mouth goes completely dry. Trying to tell him was killing her more than the not telling, which couldn't be good, right? She was supposed to trust him with these things, not keep them from him. What would their marriage be like later, if she couldn't trust him with this kind of news no-

“ _ Shepard. _ Haha, are you ignoring me? I'd hope I've done nothing too wrong to deserve the silent treatment.” Shepard is pulled out her thoughts by  _ him _ . His whiskey colored eyes dance with slight confusion and amusement as his lips held a half smile only he seemed to be able to pull off. Her heart clenched while looking at him; why was she so afraid to talk to Kaidan when all he did was make her happy? 

“No! No, no I just... Keep getting lost in thought. Sorry, Kaidan.” She apologetically kisses him, and he eagerly returns it, one of his warm, calloused hands gently coming up to cup her cheek. She leaned her face into his hand as they sat there, watching each other, and wondered again over how she couldn't seem to tell him such an important fact.

Later, in the evening, or well, what  _ would  _ be evening on Earth, Shepard found herself in the cargo bay. Joker and EDI had finally gotten them to a small, half-dead planet rumored to be the location of another Cerberus lab. Naturally, Shepard wanted to investigate. 

Her armor easily locked into place over her, providing protection to most of her body; since the news, she had taken time to order specialized armor meant to give more protection to her abdomen, to keep her and the baby safe. Of course, only she and Chakwas knew that... Shepard still hadn't managed to tell Kaidan. She looked over at him, suiting up into his dark blue combat armor, and watched him for a moment. He seemed to sense her, because as he put on one of his pauldrons, he looked up and grinned at her. She returned it with a small smile. She turned her gaze to James, who was already geared up, and simply just checking his guns for any issues. After calling for confirmation they were both ready, they all three loaded into the shuttle where Cortez was waiting, and headed on onto the planet. 

The near-white sunlight greeted Shepard's eyes as she stepped out of the lab, her breath still coming in pants and her armor splattered with unintelligible amounts of gore from both humans and Reaper cretins. As it turned out, the Cerberus lab was indeed there, and it was still in use. In fact, it was being used to study Reaper tech and what it does the bodies of different species; the amount of brutes and husks she had fought seemed incredibly ridiculous now that she could actually  _ think _ about it. The air was crisp and almost burned her throat to breath, but it was refreshing to be out of that hell, and she planned to relax for a moment. She could hear Kaidan and James laughing and joking behind her, likely just as happy as she was to be out of that horror fest. She breathed a deep breath in, and released it with a  _ whoosh _ as a metallic roar pierced the air. She whirled around, but before she was fully turned a heavy body, clad in armor, sent her flying elsewhere. She let out a loud grunt as she landed, thankfully without whatever it was on top of her, and just barely heard the pained groan and loud  _ thump _ from whatever it was. Her head spinning, she looked over to see James passed out; he'd likely hit his head on the landing. 

She stood, her head screaming for her to do otherwise, and staggered towards where they had originally been standing. She heard...  _ noises _ . A wet crunching and crushing she didn't think she had ever heard before. She tried to hide using the building's corner, and peered around, her vision still iffy. Blurrily, she saw what seemed to be a brute doing... something. As her eyesight cleared, a sickening dread coldly clawed at her insides and up into her throat. She saw horribly dented blue armor, blood, and gristle. Adrenaline flooded through her, spurred by her panic, and she grabbed her assault rifle, and started to shoot at the thing's head. It roared in pain, swiveling to look at her. It climbed out from behind the short, paved walkway's concrete guarding and came barreling at her. She froze, unable to move. The brute quickly drew closer, and right as it was on top of her... 

_ BOOM.  _ A shot rang out, blasting the brute well away from her. Shepard looked to the skies, and saw the Normandy's shuttle coming towards her. Another shot sounded, and the beast went quiet, a huge hole blown in the area of its head and chest. Shaking, Shepard stumbled over to the walkway as the shuttle landed, and her heart stopped at what she saw... or rather, what she couldn't. Kaidan lay there, unrecognizable except for his armor. Her heart and mind fought over the truth, one crying  _ it can't be him, it just can't be  _ and the other  _ of course it is, it's his armor and no one else was around _ . Her throat swelled shut as tears rushed to her eyes. She hopped over the guarding, and stumbled into falling on her knees beside his body. She mumbled brokenly, tears streaming down her face as sobs started to well in her chest. Her face was hot, but her mind and body were coldly numb.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this... Nothing was supposed to happen like this. 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> I died inside writing this. I blame you, Sara, for this damned fic.


End file.
